Insert Butt Joke Here

Okay, guys, my mom said, “Don’t put that on Facebook!”  but since I’ve been bombarding you for weeks with all my intestinal TMI, I feel like I owe you the explanation.   I, for one, really hate vague Facebook statuses like the ones I posted yesterday that are all like, “If you’re really important to me, you know what I’m talking about.”   And then you torture yourself with how nosy you want to be to seem like you care.   Or maybe I’m the only one who does that.  Anyway, you’re all important to me, so here it is:

My hot date with Dr. Butt yesterday did not got as expected; he found what is listed on my release paperwork as a “malignant completely obstructing tumor in the descending colon.”  Long story short:  I have cancer.  Probably.  Pathology results will confirm.

He seems to think that we caught it early enough that simply its removal will make me well.  Here’s hoping.   I will be meeting with my surgeon Thursday to schedule said removal.  Hopefully, it will be soon.

I’m in good spirits, but I’m on a liquid diet, so please pray for or send positive thoughts to my family, as they will bear the brunt of my “I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry” moments.   And keep the butt jokes coming.  They help.   Cancer sucks, so the only thing to do is to be completely irreverent about it.